The Zimp

Hey guys. Like last year, I’m gonna live blog through-out the Oscars. If you feel like joining in, go ahead and feel free to do so. If you want to join in via Twitter, just @ reply me with your interest to do so. Let the world’s fanciest useless award show BEGIN!!

Hey guys. Taking an Internet hiatus lately to rethink things. Funny thing is, during my hiatus, I got more followers on Twitter. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to make testicle tweets so that I can even out the universe. Here’s something that made my day lately.

I tell everyone about you nonna! After they watch you they start saying I LOVE YOU more often! Just listening to the words have provided a positive impact in society! Your episodes are so hilarious! Keep up the great work and God Bless!

It was a comment written on the Nonna Maria and Friends Facebook Fan Page. Nice to see some of my actions having a positive impact. Thanks, commentator, you made my day.

Studies done on cancer patients who go into recession show that the closer they are to death the more they reflect on the relationships they’ve created with others. They don’t think about the money they’ve made, the cars they own, the companies they’ve grown. No. They get enveloped in the love and memories they shared with others during their life. This changes everything, it changes the way you look at life. In some cases of cancer patients it causes their cancer to go into recession. If you live life to build meaningful relationships and to nurture them and cherish them, then you, my friend, have tuned into abundance. Everything you need is right around you. Grab it, love it, cherish it, before it’s too late.

From the best episode of ATHF

Hey, anyone notice the suckage in this year’s Super Ball (Bowl) commercials (apparently there’s a football game too). Seriously, aside from a few good one with the little kid in the Doritos ad and the one with the CHICKENS (Chickens just always make me laugh)… most of the rest just really… well.. sucked.

They weren’t funny, they weren’t inspiring, they were just really crappy… and seriously, how many commercials need Danica Patrick in them? GoDaddy commercials are the worst… don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the fine female physique but give me a little something… something to stimulate my brain… suggestive massages and cleavage don’t  do it for me anymore. Not now that we have this whole Internet thing, I can search BOOBS on GOOGLE IMAGES and become desensitized to the sight of mammaries. And don’t get me started on that GoDaddy commercial with the incest joke… what the fuck is wrong with you GoDaddy?

Everything during the Super Bowl is perfectly thought out, every shot, every commercials, there’s always that underlying feeling that there’s more to it than an event where men in tights tackle each other for a leathery deformed ball (wow, what a sentence). Then again, if you had a message to deliver, why NOT deliver it during one of the biggest sporting events of the year?

Advertisement is changing. Here’s a quick story: I was once watching a basketball game and they had a shot of the announcers talking in front of the spectators. Between the two announcers was a woman in a skirt, only viewable from the waist down. Therefore, all you saw on the screen was the announcers and a pair of nice legs in between them both. Then, the funniest thing happen, the woman had a card in her hand that she then placed into the shot. On the card was an advertisement, a logo of a company (I forget which one). “Holy Shit!” I thought to myself. You guys fucking got me.

HBO has released their poster for their movie adaptation of the Conan-Leno “fracas” (soup holder) that’s transpired over the past few weeks.

Friday night, late night, thoughts.

All the time. All the time. Through the highs or lows, it’s awesome. To the times when you feel nervous to the times where you couldn’t have a care in the world. It rocks.

We have to love it all. We have no choice. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others, comparing our lives to the “way it should be.” There is no “way it should be.” There is no “normal.” When someone tells you “be realistic” they’re just justifying negative thinking.

In life, there’s only two things, whether you’re doing or not doing something you love. Be honest with yourself, what would keep you at the utmost of happiness? Sometimes it’s not things we think. Money, fame, sex, these are not real. These are just means to an end. Everything we want in life happens in the process.

We’re told to seek perfection. We’re told how to walk, talk, what to wear, eat, do. We’re told what bank to go to, what words to say, what shows to watch, what music to listen too. We’re told how to live life and sometimes we lose sight of the fact that we generate our own reality. How do we do that? WORDS.

Words are powerful. Pronounce yourself, announce yourself, use your words to tell the world who you are and want to be. As humans, we have the power to generate, to recreate, to turn into flesh. We’re all Jesus and we’re all Hitler. We can all see the good things in life or the bad. The thing is, we get the choice. We’re all capable of creating miracles.

Create miracles. What man thinks of himself, he becomes. Become what you want to become.

(January 25, 2009 - Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images North America)

FULL DISCLOSURE – I’ve recently developed an interest in the great sport of Hockey. What’s weird about that? Well, I’m a 26 year old white male living in Montreal and up until about 6 months ago I couldn’t name more than three hockey players. When you live in Montreal, you’re expected to know, live, and breathe hockey. My recent interest developed cause I moved in with three friends who are avid hockey fans. Not to mention all my other friends watch hockey, so naturally, when there’s a party at our house it’s usually centered around a hockey game. In fact, as I write this, Montreal is losing 3 – 2 to Ottawa (UPDATE: they lost).

What I like the most about hockey is not who’s who or the stats of the game, but rather the funny things that can happen during a hockey game. Things that have nothing to do with the rules of hockey or even the actual game of hockey. Something that comes to mind recently was when Plekanec scored a goal and was celebrating and he fell face first on the ice, tripping Markov in the process who was making his way there to congratulate him on the goal or, like, when fans dress in green spandex and make fun of players in the penalty box.

These are the moments of hockey that make me keep watching. Lately I’ve been interested in the story of Georges Laraque. Laraque is known as the Habs’ goon, put on the ice to intimidate opposing hockey players. Georges Laraque is also Haitian and, as we all know, Haiti has lately been devastated by a massive earthquake. Another interesting fact about Georges Laraque is that he hasn’t scored a goal in the past 2 years… that is, until January 14th, 2010, one day after the Haiti earthquake hit.

Again, I remind you, I don’t know much about hockey, but something happened to Laraque. Something we can take a lesson from. See, Laraque was now playing a different game. His reason for playing hockey changed. It wasn’t about intimidating others or starting fights, now it was about those devastated in the destruction of Haiti. Laraque looked at the big picture. He wasn’t paying attention to the stats, he wasn’t overthinking things, he was in the mindset where he needed to trust himself and make things happen.

Laraque dedicated the goal to his people in Haiti, mentioning the goal was a miracle. Now, what can we learn from this? What can we take from Laraque’s situation that we can apply to our everyday lives that’ll help us love what we do? See, we have to look at the big picture of things. We need to find, in ourselves, why we do what we do. The reason you do what you do needs to inspire you, it needs to fuel you, it needs to give you the energy you need to perform. That’s what happened to Laraque on the 14th, his reason for playing hockey changed and the new reason gave him the energy and focus he needed to make him perform better than usual. Now, let’s not confuse Laraque’s success with Laraque’s performance. True success is playing at the top of your game and not the outcome or stats of a game. It’s the journey, not the destination. Scoring a goal is the outcome of good performance and the performance is what we’re all there to watch.

What to take away from this is that we all need to find a reason that empowers us in the morning, every morning, when we wake up. That reason, like I mentioned, needs to inspire you, it needs to set your insides on fire. You need to find that something that’ll fulfill you. Here’s the thing: that reason has nothing to do with any physical aspect or goal. If Laraque was playing hockey on January 14th so that he can higher his stats as a player, get a better contract, and get paid more money, then I doubt he would’ve ever scored at all. No, Laraque was inspired and emotional about his reason for playing hockey. He wasn’t playing for money, contracts, stats, he was playing to inspire others, he was playing so that Haiti, at it’s darkest, could shine just a little bit. And shine it did cause, after Laraque scored, the crowd broke into a giant standing ovation, yelling “La-Raque! La-Raque!” as loud as ever. These simple things, these simple reasons, they’re the reasons that change our world. Find your reason to change our world and do it and don’t look back. Whether you succeed or not doesn’t matter, what matters is how you got there.

Laraque was always very philanthropic - donating to various charities and increasing the well-being of his community Today, he continues to help out and raise awareness of the Haiti earthquake, in order to get aid to the people who need it immensely.

Again, I encourage whoever might be reading this to donate to help out those in Haiti. An easy way to donate is to simply text the word “HAITI” to 90999, which in turn sends a $10 donation to the Redcross. You can also donate via the Redcross. Obviously, anything counts.

http://www.sirmikeofmitchell.com/

In this age of Internets, it’s very easy to neglect our beloved television. Oh, TV, you’ve been there through the best times and through the worst times. Through the times when The Simpsons was the funniest show on TV to now when they’re a rip-off of a rip-off of their own show (Family Guy). However, the age of Internets has changed things drastically. Now things are all literally at our fingertips. I can Google search Mother Teresa and just as fast segue into a search for celebrity nipple slips. Never before has society had the power to have all their questions answered, even if those questions might be something along the lines of “what would happen if you stuck a firework up your ass?” Naturally, people would also use Internets to replace T.V. I mean, with sites like YouTube, just about any douchebag out there can have their own show (warning: this video will make you feel like you’re wasting your life away).  Whether it’s good or not, is a different story, the point is we’re the ones who choose what we want to watch. I don’t have to schedule my life around TV anymore. No need to hurry up and finish my homework so I can catch The Simpsons. TV, on the internet, now happens at my leisure. I’m catching up on LOST thanks to the Internets.

If you’re an avid Interneter, then you’ve probably heard about the whole NBC fiasco between Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien. If you haven’t, Google it, and get up to speed. What’s happening is that NBC wants to move Conan to 12:05 to put Jay Leno at 11:35. The thing is, Conan refused to be moved to 12:05 which means that his days at NBC or on The Tonight Show might be numbered… or so it seems.

Pehraps with the chance in schedules, Conan moving to L.A. to take over the Tonight Show has probably caused a certain shift in ratings which didn’t please NBC. So, I’m guessing, they’re trying to revert to the way it was, kind of like trying to suppress the memory of walking in on your parents having sex. Or maybe this whole thing is deliberate. Think about it, I’ve never been more interested in watching Conan O’Brien’s show. I’m a fan of Conan O’Brien but I admit not watching his show regularly. I’ll watch if I manage to catch it but that’s about it. But with all this, I find myself wanting to watch his show rather than scouring the Internet for clips of Conan bashing on NBC. This whole thing is working in NBC’s favor cause it’s getting eyeballs off the Internet and onto the T.V. screens.

Here’s how I see the whole thing playing out. Jay Leno wants to retire, instead of shutting down his show and saying “that’s that”, they start up this controversy. And if there’s anything we could learn about Passion of the Christ or Hugh Grant, it’s that controversy gets people interested. Just look at the whole Tiger Woods thing, people feel the need to know every detail about the life of a man who spends most of his time smacking small white balls across a giant field with a big metal rod (this sentence sounds delicious). So, with this whole Jay Leno and Conan controversy, I’m sure NBC’s getting a nice surge in ratings as people tune in to support their favorite hosts. Conan seems to be the side that’s winning as his ratings have shot up recently.

I can see this going two ways. NBC keeps Conan where he is (and Conan stays) and he now has this new influx of ratings or Conan leaves NBC and while juggling networks he produces some online content that catches the attention of everyone and, BAM, another nail in T.V.’s coffin. Conan’s fan base is predominantly on the Internet, I say this, cause the Internet is ablaze with this story. People are showing support for Conan left and right. Whatever is happening, NBC is either doing something very strategic or is further pushing the demise of television.

As an audience, we tend to be loyal to the things we like and when the things we like are in danger, we tend to retaliate. Take Arrested Development for example, probably one of the finest shows of the decade (okay, not probably, it is the show of the decade), which was cancelled by FOX way ahead of it’s time. How did fans retaliate? Well, we purchased the DVDs of the seasons. Same thing goes for Family Guy, which got resurrected after FOX saw how well the DVD sales were doing. Even Futurama, which spun off into 4 original made-for-DVD movies, after FOX saw that DVD sales were high. Do networks make more money this way? Introduce a show everyone likes and then cancel it before it’s time so that people can retaliate by buying the DVDs? Then spin that show off into movies, made-for-DVD films, and even other shows?

I just find the whole thing very meta. It’s like a Television show brought to the fore-front of it all. Except, this Television show makes it’s way through our Twitter and Facebook streams, our News feeds and our YouTubes. This is the T.V. of the 21st century, with tentacles and eyeballs that reach out of the idiot box and into our phones and laptops. We’re watching a different show these days, one that blurs the lines between fiction and reality (I just wanted to say that line).

DISCLAIMER: It’s hard to write a blog post like this making it seem like this late-night show fiasco (i keep using this word) is the biggest thing in the news, but it’s not. I wish it was, but it’s not. No, the biggest thing in the news is the devastation caused by the Haitian earthquake. The earthquake has shaken up one of the poorest countries in the western hemisphere, it has left thousands dead and thousands more injured, without shelter, food, or water. It’s easy to ignore this seeing as we’re thousands of miles away (depending where you live) but it’s a lot more fulfilling and human to do whatever is in your power to help out. An easy way to donate is to simply text the word “HAITI” to 90999, which in turn sends a $10 donation to the Redcross. You can also donate via the Redcross. Please, let’s try not to ignore this one. TV shows can battle it out all they want for our eyeballs but in the end, they’re doing it so they can provide us with entertainment and moments where we can shut off our brains and unwind. But when there’s an opportunity to help out humanity, I say take it on full force, do what you can cause there’s nothing more blissful.

You know, in life, we kind of start to lose sight of the things that really matter to us. It’s true. That’s why we tend to care more for something when it’s in danger or taken away. We forget what it means to us, why it made us get up in the morning, why we did it in the first place. Why does this happen?

Lately, I’ve had shitloads time to think. I had 3 weeks off from my job and, as you can see from my site and twitter feeds, haven’t been active online all that much. I haven’t made a video in a while either (besides the Nonna Maria Christmas episode). I took all this time to reflect on what the fuck I want to do with my life. I feel like I want to take on everything, which overwhelms the shit out of me, so I just sit around and meditate on it. Well, what did I find during this whole time of reflection? I found that, reflection, while good, can also be bad. In fact, reflecting and thinking too much can be very well detrimental to the life you want to live.

In the times we’re living in, where “thinking positive” is now all the rage. Where books like “The Secret” sell you the idea that if you want to win at life, you just need to sit down and think about winning at life. In this era where we’re all looking for the easy way out, the diet pill or slap chop to make us slimmer, the abridged version of the “Laws of Attraction” that makes us feel okay with spending a whole day playing Uncharted 2 in our underwear on the couch. I mean, sure, I’m playing Uncharted 2 but at least I’m “thinking” about wealth and fame.

While I definitely encourage any positivity, I realized that what all these positive thoughts, goal planning, writing, vision boards, mind movies, hypnotist recordings, meditations, binaural sounds, enhanced music, subliminal sleep sessions, and subliminal music do is really just make you feel okay with being a couch potato. There wasn’t enough action I was taking in my life. I wasn’t doing enough with what I had. My blog was drying up and I hadn’t wrote a new video skit in the longest time. Why? cause they lost their original meaning. That doesn’t mean I’m not ever doing them again, it’s just that I need to reassess why I did them in the first place.

When my blog started to gain popularity, my mindset switched from “hey, I love blogging and writing cool stuff and I hope people like what I write, if not, it’s okay, but if they do it’s so cool” to “whoa, my site’s getting popular, I need to continue blogging so I can keep this traffic up.” <— you see that? My whole meaning for updating this blog switched from just blogging for the sake of blogging to blogging so I can keep the traffic coming. Tell me, how am I supposed to write quality posts when I’m blogging to get more traffic. I might as well open up one of those stupid SPAM blogs if I wanted to do that. No, I’m blogging cause I love it, it’s something I’ve always done ( I used to blog on paper, I think they used to call it journaling or something). I love writing, I love seeing people comment on my writing, I love when my writing inspires others, I love when others who read my writings inspire me.

Truly, what set me to write this post was a comment on my latest blog post which read -

Tisk Tisk, no new posts, very disapointing

I read that and everything just clicked. Thank you, Val, for showing your disappointment. I appreciate it greatly. I apologize for not updating my site and I apologize for losing sight of what I wanted my site to be. Let’s have some fun this New Year and make this world a funnier, awesomer, snausaugier (wtf?) place.

What about you guys? What have you been stuck on? What has been in the back of your minds, plaguing you, asking you to give it attention? If you give it enough meaning, you’ll find the motivation to get it done.

I’m back.

Love,

The Zimp.

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