The Zimp

So, we sit around, discussing, asking who or what is God, what’s right, what’s wrong? Like we have any fucking clue.

The air is finally fresh, it just finished raining.

An oven mitt fell onto one of the stove burners and caught fire, when you see a fire starting it’s hard not to think of the type of news story they’ll do on the late night news. Rest assured, it was put out quickly and swiftly.

There’s moths everywhere.

The air is cold, for July.

These rum & coke glasses are really supposed to be vases.

I’m sorry I was too fucking drunk to drive.

Put the music louder.

This room smells better without the carpet. The carpet smelled like a sweaty fat guy who likes to bathe in doritos.

Love. Love is free of religion or creed. We all feel love no matter what we believe.

Heal the world. Make it a better place. Develop a clue about different perceptions.

There’s no other place I’d rather be or no one else I’d rather be. I hope you feel the same way too about yourself.

“When you start shoulding and shoudn’ting you’ll should all over yourself” - Tony Robbins.

The Montreal Jazz Fest should be renamed “Waiting in line for everything fest.”

As some of you might know I used to live with my parents. In fact, I’ve lived with them for most of my life - I’m 25. This year I moved out. In fact, this week. I’ve been going back and forth from the apartment I share with 3 of my best friends to my parent’s house bring stuff back and forth. My bedroom isn’t ready yet so I’m stuck sleeping on the couch. It still hasn’t hit me yet that this is MY place. That I’m out and I’m on my own. I’m a big fan of jumping into things that’ll make you a different person when you come out the other end. If we all refused to do things cause our current mentality didn’t allow it, we’d never grow. So if you’re making your way down to Mtl and want to beer it up, feel free to send me an e-mail. I’ll gladly meet with you and make you buy me beer ( hey, I’m paying RENT now!).

I want to lay down some groundwork for the goals I have planned while I’m living on my own.

Here are some things I’d love to accomplish:

1) Create: I want to create as much as I can. I want to make videos, paint paintings, compose music, write books, illustrate, come up with jokes, write a screenplay, film a short film. The most beautiful thing about creation is that you get to learn with each creation.

2) Take Nonna Maria to the next level: our Nonna Maria creation has captured the hearts of people all over. Even the non-Italians. Nonna Maria represents the way in which our grandmothers showed us love. I’m going to take Nonna Maria and Friends to the next level by implementing more videos, doing live shows, creating merchandise, and helping to promote other comedians.

3) Health: I’m going to work out regularly and eat healthy. I’m going to find my spiritual connection between my body and mind and reignite my relationship with my body and make it a respectful one.

4) Friends: I’m going meet and make a lot of new friends. I want to also meet twitter friends I haven’t met with. I want to find other people to create with. Other people to have fun with. I want life to be just one big party and everyone’s invited.

5) Grow: I’m going to grow as a person and as a man. I want to keep my integrity and my word and stay true to myself so that I can stay true with others.

6) Open Mic: at some point I’d love to do an open mic night at a comedy club.

7) Art gallery: I have a series of paintings I’d love to do and have displayed in an art gallery.

Financial freedom: yes, this one is on here. I want to be financially free by next year. I want to explore this world, travel, and help others first and foremost.

9) Tattoo: I want to get a tattoo. I might be doing this one soon.

These are my goals that I’d love to accomplish by the end of this year. As things get more solid and I stop sleeping on a stupid couch, I’m going to solidify these and explore them more. It’s important to write down the things you want to do in life. I find it helps in making it materialize. At some point last year I had written down that I’d love to live on my own, well, here I am.

Time to let the summer begin.

Today I pretty much watched MJ’s funeral on mute since I had a class at the same time ( I’m a 3d animation teacher ). Like I said, I’m a fan of MJ. I bet I wasn’t the only one secretly wishing he’d pop out of the casket, do some crazy dance moves, and then finish it off with a groin grab therefore completing the most awesomest comeback in the history of mankind and the universe. However, that didn’t happen. No, instead it ended off with Paris, Michael’s daughter, claiming how he was the best daddy in the world. It was indeed very touching. Whether you liked him or not, the man was capable of creating huge amounts of ripples. People talked and will always talk about what MJ has done. His life remained a media sideshow circus until the end ( have you seen the MJ ghost video, like, seriously). I was sporting my awesome Michael Jackson Ghost t-shirt today to commemorate the memorial.

These types. Like this one, right here, the you’re reading. You know, the one that’s going to APOLOGIZE for being M.I.A. for the past while. I HATE these types of blog posts. What I HATE even more is that I’m the one writing it. So, let’s get it out of the way:

Hey there. What’s going on? I’ve been very busy lately moving and shit so I’m sorry if I haven’t updated.

There. I’m done. Now that that’s out of the way I can tell you where the f*ck I’ve been. I’ve been busy moving and getting ready for the move. Yes, I’m officially on my own. Amazing. However, I’m stuck to sleeping on a couch since my bedroom is not exactly ready but it’s alright. I’m living with some of my buddies, basically the whole Salty Pigs troupe.

Speaking of The Salty Pigs, well, what the hell is The Salty Pigs? Well, The Salty Pigs is the name of the comedy troupe my friends and I created to encompass all our Italian-oriented comedy starting with the famous Nonna Maria. We’ll be adding more shows and videos in the very near future. But, why The Salty Pigs? - Good question there, Jonathan. The Salty Pigs is actually derieved from the word Prosciutto, which, if you don’t know, is basically Italian ham. It’s a cured pig leg that we slice up and eat and sometimes wrap around canteloupe or eat with bocconcini. In either way, it’s deliciously delicious.

Okay, let’s go back to me and not updating this site in like forever. Here are some important announcements -

Firstly, the CUBE. The Nissan Cube. You know, the car shaped like a Cube that I nagged you all about to go and vote for me every single day. Well, I lost. That’s right. No Cube for me. I’m stuck with my Volkswagen that I need to unlock by using a string that goes into my trunk ( if ever I meet you in real life and you’ve read this, ask me to show you how it works, you’ll freak out). That’s okay though. I mean, the party was fun. There was a crazy amount of candy that pretty much hurt all our tummies (er, crap factories) for the rest of the night. The simulcast with Vancouver and Toronto was pretty cool and so were the people there. In either case, I still have my styrofoam Cube that I built myself. How many Cube winners can say that?!? Eh?!? Well… none of them… but… they can say they got a real Cube.

Also, during the Cube run I did a little contest where people can enter to win a Wildcard shirt, a copy of Rock’n'Rolla on Blu-Ray, an autographed drawn picture by me, and a stapler remover. Well, the winner is…. here it comes:

PAUL - ( @djoneiro )

Congrats Paul, not only will you look stylish in your Wildcard shirt but you can now remove unwanted staples from places where staples are not wanted.

Finally - lets all take this moment to remember Michael Jackson… starting now…

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Despite what anyone says about MJ, I’m going to miss the guy. As a kid he inspired me with his music, dance moves, mystery, his messages on hate and tolerance. We truly lost a great person. The thing is, though, we lost a regular person. We lost a person just like you and me who’s greatness was measured by the amount of scrutiny he was under. Every action he took was scrutinized, lied about, or blown out of proportion. It’s sad to see someone get consumed by the world around him. Reminds me of the episode of South Park with Britney Spears.

I’m working on something to commemorate Michael Jackson and see if we can raise some funds for his charity. I’ll let you know when it happens. Your support and love would be appreciated.

I spent the last few days in Toronto. I’ve been to Toronto before, last time I went it was during the winter and it was balls-in-chest cold. This time it was hot, I even got tanned just by walking around downtown TO. My feelings towards TO are the same as Homer Simpson’s feelings towards New York City in the episode where they go to New York City. TO is the city I shake my fist at and say, “TO, what are you doing?!?”. Toronto is a pretty wierd city. Seems they’re just trying too hard sometimes. But I love TO.  I managed to meet some awesome people there, especially the dude behind the infamous @SKYTANK on Twitter. We shared a brew ( he claims outdrinking 4-to-1 but I out-ate him two loafs of pretzel bread, spinach dip, and an onion ring). I also got to party on a boat out in the water anchored by the Toronto skyline. It was awesomely awesome and I’m gonna put up videos about it. The only gripe I had with Toronto is that EVERYONE is trying to sell you something. At least in the Dundas square area. I couldn’t go anywhere without getting approached by someone with something they wanted me to buy/try/donate to etc.

Felipe, Nonna Maria, and I - photo taken by Eva Blue.

There’s really something magical that happens when you’re walking down a busy boulevard with your hand shoved into a puppet. People give themselves the permission to look. People give themselves a split second to peak their curiosity about someone else’s life. There’s an amazing social experiment that takes place where people surrender their guards and just go with what’s going on.

A couple of months ago on the Montreal Metro (subway for you non-Montrealish folks) there was one cart (usually the one in the middle) that was completely transformed into an art/social experiment. The cart was completely blue on the inside, with wallpaper that looked like blue wood panels lining the entire interior. Throughout the ride random sounds would play over different speakers placed within the cart. The windows all had different shots of the city. However, what was more interesting than the cart itself is what went on inside the cart. If you’re no stranger to taking the subway you’d know that everyone on the subway enters a zombie like state in order to avoid any social interaction with other human beings. We have our iPods on, our eyes on books, on walls, on ads, on anything but other people. The subway is an easy place to see the fear we have of each other. We’re all worried about what others think so we don’t DO anything. Well, this interesting little blue cart seemed to change that. People laughed at the funny noises, even asking other patrons what was going on. The cart broke the ice for there to be a somewhat smoother social interaction. It was nice to see people surrender their shields and finally make light conversation. It’s a start.
The same can be said when we laugh. When we laugh we’re telling others that we’re enjoying something, that we’re happy, or maybe that we’re uncomfortable and our only reaction is to laugh. When we laugh, we surrender.

This is really why I continue to do Nonna Maria. It’s the repercussion of melting those barriers that we keep between us. Those social rules that keep us in zombie-like states. This action alone discounts all those people who tell me I have “too much free time.”

On June 3rd, my friends at Filter Box Media organized an awesome concert and invited me to perform and interview the bands with Nonna Maria. Armed with a wooden spoon, Nonna Maria performed as best she can – interviewing bands she’s never heard about playing music she’d probably never ever listen too. But Nonna Maria had a great time and also managed to get a few kisses from some of the male band members.
Club Lambi was the venue. A small venue located near Mont-Royal and St.Laurent. The word Lambi represents a conch used as an instrument on Caribbean islands in order to send signals across the island. Well, it felt like a Caribbean island in the venue cause it was deathly hot in there. The temperature was accompanied by a faint smell of ham which was probably the smell of the entire room perspiring. That didn’t stop this crowd, no, we were here for the music. And what a night of music it was. Filter Box lined up some awesome bands. Leif Vollebekk, Fox Jaws, Code Pie and Nista were there to perform their hearts out. The night started off with a tweetup from 6 – 8 where Nonna Maria went around, yelling at people, and backhanding them with her wooden spoon. She did everything from questioning Nista’s leading lady’s choice of haircut to trying to get a date with their drummer. The show began with Leif Vollebekk’s endearing songs book ended with charming anecdotes about rhymes he uses. Toronto’s Fox Jaws followed, cementing the fact that we were in for a night of great music. After Fox Jaws came Code Pie, who were The Montreal Mirror’s Best of Montreal’s 3rd pick for Best Local Musical Act in a list headed by Arcade Fire. Finally, the night ended with Nista performing a sultry set filled with Tutus, bunny ears, and boobs.

While watching all these great bands perform I was felt both excited and privileged to be in such a small cozy venue – enjoying them the way any band should be enjoyed; intimately. This was a great night of music that I was lucky enough to be a part of. These days, things like American Idol seem to demean the essence of making real, artful, talented music. While the likes of Simon Cowell go around promoting a lifestyle that seems to be an audition away, the real talented types are stuffing the small venues. I won’t be the one to complain about being able to see great bands in small venue. I was hoping to get the same experience with Kings of Leon before they had their songs from their new sub-par album played over an episode of Gossip Girl and now I’m stuck going to the Bell Center (an arena venue) to see a band that I’d much rather see in a small venue. I have no problems with a band playing the Bell Center or a band succeeding beyond measure. We hope for this to happen to the bands we like. What I DON’T like is when, while listening to the music, I can almost picture the board meeting that went on in order to make the music more marketable. I have this gripe cause throughout the whole night, during the show, all I can think was, “man, more people should be enjoying this, right now.”

While, I’m sure any of the performers I saw at the show will definitely succeed, it’s important that we completely support those that make use realize that music remains an art and that art is capable of marketing itself. That’s why we need to support our Leif Vollebekks, our Fox Jawses, Code Pies, and Nistas. We need to rid ourselves of the mentality that the rock-star life is an audition away. This mentality chokes creativity. It flushes our artistry. It kills persistence. The beauty about creating art is how we go about breathing life into it.

So I’ll get my ass to any venue in town regardless of temperature, size, crowd, or what state the bathroom is in if it means that I’m supporting something that is art. So, have fun, continue dancing, and I hope to rock-out with you at our next sweaty night of musical monstrosity.

Special thanks to Eva Blue for taking such awesome pictures. Please please please check out her Flickr stuff and, also, view her pictures of the event here.

I’ll go ahead and tell you the Montreal Beer fest is crazy fun. How fun? Well, if you find yourself wandering around the streets of downtown aimlessly at 3 a.m. - it’s THAT fun. Seriously, ideas that start with alcohol are only good ideas in that moment. The next morning the whole idea of a festival dedicated towards beer is NOT a good idea. Never the less, summer has hit Montreal and it’s debauchery as usual. I took some vids of the Beer Fest that I’ll be putting up. Right now I’m trying to figure out how the hell I’m up so early when I went to bed like literally 2 hours ago.

What I’ve been up to and the upcoming Nonna Maria live…

(WORST SCREENSHOT EVAR!! ▼▼▼ )

The event for you facebookers:
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/event.php?eid=76045074437&ref=ts

for you twitterers:
http://twtvite.com/5ifkew

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